It's time for a bitch post! Here's one of my pet peeves: People who correct grammar incorrectly. Well, perhaps incorrectly is the wrong word: People who correct grammar ungenerously and uncreatively. Sure, everyone's annoyed with people who say "between you and I," that's nothing new, but here are some of my annoyances:
"Ugh, I don't feel well."
"What? Are there no nerve endings in your fingertips? Are you somehow just untalented or unskilled at feeling? I think what you meant is 'I don't feel good.'"
No, motherfucker! "Well" can mean healthy. It's an adjective in addition to an adverb. Yes, it also can be a noun or a verb (how versatile!), but that's not what's at issue here. What's at issue is that "wellness" means "health," and it is perfectly acceptable to say "I don't feel well."
"I'm so happy; I am literally on cloud nine."
"Really? Is that where we are now? Or is it just you there and I'm not there, too. How can you be...OH, you meant you're figuratively on cloud nine. That's what you meant, right?"
No, sugartits! Your friend didn't mean figuratively. He was using the word 'literally' as hyperbole. He was exaggerating. He was trying to make a point by taking an expression that's lost a lot of its power back to its etymology by reminding you of the meaning. Sure, it's a strange technique—the exaggeration is actually a flat out lie—but don't think the diction is incorrect. It's just bizarre.
Anyone have anything to add?
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