Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Subconscious Update

So glad Natalie and I were able to avoid those flying and crashing Barnes and Nobles while we waited for Polina, my sophomore year acting teacher. That was a close one.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Opposite Day! Call for Submissions

So this dude has decided he's going to start "opposite day," where everyone seriously argues something he or she disagrees with. No parodies, no smirking, no choosing something you sort of understand. This is a great mental exercise, and some people have done quite a bang-up job already. I'd really like to take part, but first I need a topic. Any ideas? I suppose gay marriage is the first one that comes to mind. I've often said it's the only issue I'm really passionate about because it's the only issue where I can make up my mind. I see the case for government interference in struggling countries, and I see the case for staying out. I see the case for big spending and welfare, and I see the case for total capitalism. I'm very pro-choice, but I see a reasonable case for pro-lifeness. I'm very atheistic, but I see why people would believe in God (and I don't just think it's because they're weak). So I could do gay marriage. What else could I do? Axing funding from scientific research on alternative energy and cancer treatments?

Please send ideas. If I don't get good ones, I'll just try to do gay marriage while I'm a little more awake. And if you want to argue for something you don't believe in, go ahead. That'd be awesome.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Totally

the Wit
(61% dark, 38% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN COMPLEX DARK


You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais



The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test



My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online dating
You scored higher than 77% on darkness
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You scored higher than 29% on spontaneity
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You scored higher than 12% on vulgarity
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Monday, March 06, 2006

Dakota Panning?

South Dakota finally did it. They stepped fresh over the Roe v. Wade line and banned abortions, with the one exception of allowing abortion to save the mother's life. South Dakota has now been stuffed into the same warm place of my heart where I've always held Fred Phelps. It's the "thanks for being honest" section, reserved for people who cut straight through the bullshit of politics and the silly, silly notion that middle-of-the-road = reasonable, and just take the side they want to take. They say and do what everyone else wants to say and do but won't because they're afraid of being seen as extreme. And they are extreme! But extreme can be good. Sure, moderate can be good sometimes, too, but moderate isn't always good, and you being confused doesn't mean both sides have something important to contribute.

Now, in these cases, I think Phelps and SD are dead wrong. I think a human life (that's H. sapien, not a "person's" life) means pretty much nothing without consciousness. The only other value it has besides a continuity of consciousness is the value other people subscribe to it. This is why it's crueler to tear up a 4-year-old's teddy bear than it is to break her stereo. She (sort of) thinks her teddy's a person, and you're breaking that human connection. That, I believe, is the only wrong in, say, taking Terry Schiavo off the tube: Her parents feel extra loss. So that's my view of "what makes a person." SD thinks that a zygote is a person. All right, kids. Whatev, as they say. I feel a little insulted: You think this cell, or this bobbing cluster of cells has the same value as I do? As my friends and family do? But we're all awesome! We chat and think and read and write and sing. We do amazing things from our minds, and we are so fully present while we're doing them. We each have an "I." How cool is that? But these Dakotans think I have the same value as the blastula.

Given that, however, they're doing the totally right thing. If I honestly thought the blastula had the same value as a fully developed human, abortion would be horrific! No, you can't kill someone just because you were raped, even if it was by your father. Very, very bad times for you, and gee that's a sad thing, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to kill someone, especially someone who's completely innocent. The only acception, of course, would be if you could only choose one life to save. Then, it's not so strange to choose the mother. The baby's life is less stable anyway...you have a better chance of saving the one already around. It's a sensible ban, South Dakota, given your totally absurd premise.

That said, I realize a lot of pro-lifers are really more anti-choicers. They don't like sex or impurity and want sinners to live with the consequences of their actions. I actually didn't fully believe they thought that until I saw a video today where a State Senator says he'd make an exception for a pure, religious virgin who planned on staying a virgin and was savagely raped. You just dug yourself into a hole, man. Please don't get out.