Earth to Pluto

Turn around, bee-yatch, and get your icy ass out of the solar system. Oh, wait, you hardly need you. You're six frickin' light hours away from the sun anyway. You probably haven't even heard the news yet: You're no longer a planet! You're a "dwarf planet." And don't go thinking that's like a regular dwarf--human, just small--you're in a totally separate classification. It's kill or be killed around here, and until you accrete or knock out your neighbors, you are killed, killed, killed. So go join your mini-buddies in the Kuiper belt. Go back with your own kind! Because you're not one of us, you eccentricly orbiting block of ice. Leave the planeting to the big boys.