We PWN the NYT

Speaking of cultural references (Sergi), check out my hip and nifty internet-speak. I'm so young and with it!

Yeah, it's two in the morning and I'm blogging because I want to brag. Tonight, Adam and I performed a feat almost unknown to mankind. We COMPLETED THE CRYPTIC CROSSWORD, mothafuckaaaaas!

For those of you who don't think that while we're worshipping God, God's worshiping Will Shortz, the cryptic crossword is a novelty puzzle that comes on the same page as the Sunday crossword once every six weeks or so. It's largely made of acronyms and wordplay, and you're likely to look through the whole thing without getting a single clue. Unlike the regular crossword, they do tell you how many letters are in each word of an answer. Here's the first cryptic crossword clue I ever figured out: "Oakland ball players sleep where horses race." Five letters. Think. I don't want to put the answer directly in the post, so suffice it to say it's the big headline word on this page (don't mouse over if you don't want to see). You see how it all comes together. The Oakland ballplayers. Where they sleep. Where the horses race. But you have to pull that from the clue. And that was one of the ones I GOT. There weren't many that day.

So tonight Adam Levine and I hunkered down and just went for it and did the whole damn thing. Well, he did more than I did, but I got maybe a third of them, and I think that's frickin' impressive.

In other news, earlier today I went to a Derby party in honor of the Kentucky Derby. We each picked horses out of a hat and put a two dollar bet in. The winner would get $38, while the person whose horse came in last got their two bucks back. I drew "Keyed Entry," a 30-to-1 long shot. The race started, and after just a little while, Keyed Entry pulled ahead, clearly in front of second place Sinister Minister. I couldn't believe it...with about 3/4 of the race over, Keyed Entry was winning! When all of a sudden, that sonofamare Barbaro came rushing ahead, beating everyone else by over six lengths. The nerve! Keyed Entry didn't even place or show...I couldn't see him at the end. We waited to find the full standings...was Keyed Entry fourth? Fifth? Sixth? It wouldn't help, I just wanted to know, so I could feel good about ole KE's performance. The stats came up, and Keyed Entry was DEAD LAST. 20th out of 20 horses. Which was awesome, because I got my two bucks back. Go, Keyed Entry!